Holding on and Letting Go
by Asulli
Summary: AU Damon never followed Stefan to Mystic Falls in 2009 and therefore, never met Elena. The year is 2012 now and their paths cross..
1. Chapter 1

AU Background: Damon never followed Stefan to Mystic Falls in 2009 and therefore, never met Elena. The year is 2012 now.

Atlanta, Georgia. He remembered coming through during the Civil War. Fire had taken everything as its own prisoner, families were on the streets, covered in ash like the rest of the city had. Damon remembered frowning at the scene before his eyes and thanking God that his own town had not been destroyed. The war never turned out to be his thing; he could deal with the late night gambling with the boys and winning the ladies over with his uniform, but the amount of hurt he had to witness was what made him quit. Who needed 'eternal glory' as his father put it, when you only live one measly life?

Damon chuckled to himself. He had expected to live only one short life and now here he was, nearly a hundred and seventy years later. It was odd how one could be so affected by living forever.

"Can I get you anything?" A pretty bartender pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers.

"Sure, can I get a bourbon? On the house." He compelled the blonde and she smiled brightly, nodding, and scurried off. Damon twirled his stool around and looked aimlessly about the bar. Nobody really caught his eye. He sensed the bartender placing his drink before him, but she went off to help someone else.

"Let me get a beer." An almost familiar voice rang through his ears as he whipped around, his eyes meeting a girl, no older than seventeen. She was stunning. Dark hair, big brown eyes, and almost a glow about her. But that wasn't what surprised him, it was the fact that she looked almost exactly like Katherine Pierce, the vampire who had turned him. He must have been staring because she acknowledged it.

"I'm Elena." She said simply, extending her hand, a soft smile playing on her face. Damon hesitated, but took it in his own.

"Damon." He said, a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his lips. This wasn't Katherine. She was soft-spoken and sweet; nothing like the cruel monster he had given his heart to so long ago.

"So Damon, what brings you to Atlanta?" She asked, settling on the stool beside him and accepting her beer with a nod and taking a sip.

"Who's to say I'm not from around here?" Damon asked, one eyebrow cocked and taking a swig of his own drink. "I could be a southern gentleman." Elena laughed.

"You don't have the accent." She spoke very matter-of-factly. He nodded and smiled.

"My family moved here from Italy when I was young. No accent." He said. It was the truth. His family settled in Mystic Falls, Virginia just before his brother was born. Damon was already past the point of obtaining any sort of accent.

"So you live here?" Elena asked, not entirely buying it.

"Nope." Damon said with a smirk, sipping on his drink. She laughed and shoved him a bit, taking a gulp of her beer. Damon watched her carefully. "There's no way you're twenty-one." He commented slyly.

"Maybe not, but I'm hard to say no to." She concluded with a wink. He chuckled as they fell into a silence, each sipping at their own drinks. It was odd. Usually, when he felt an attraction to someone like this, the hunger would come over him, but at the moment, he didn't want her blood; he only wanted her.

"I'm pretty stubborn." He said challengingly. She raised her eyebrow at him.

"You won't be saying that after a few shots." A mischievous smirk playing on her face as she called the bartender over and ordered them some shots of tequila. Damon found himself highly amused by her, she was feisty and knew how to laugh. He really liked that.

A few hours and several shots later, Damon and Elena were laughing and sharing a burger. She was picking off anything nutritious off her half, causing Damon to narrow his eyes at her.

"You don't like pickles? What's wrong with you?" Damon picked up her discarded pickles and popped them into his mouth. She smiled up at him, shaking her head, and taking a big bite of her burger. Damon followed suit.

"Oh my God!" Elena exclaimed, mouth full of food. She swallowed quickly and jumped up, causing Damon to look alarmed, his predatory instincts kicking in.

"What?" Elena took his hand in hers.

"This is my song!" She said simply, pulling him out onto the empty dance floor of the bar. Damon chuckled as she began to dance around him and he found himself swaying to the melody as well, using moves he had acquired over the years in order to impress her. Grabbing her hips and swinging her about earned him a small squeal from her just as the song was ending.

They both stood, smiling almost stupidly at each other. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this way about another person. He was so sure he had extinguished any humanity left in him long ago. But here it was, bubbling back up to the surface again, and as much as he hated to admit it, he had really missed it. Feeling this way? It was something in both his wildest dreams and his worst nightmares, but he let it in; let it fill him up.

As if reading his mind, Elena smiled and stood up on her tiptoes, planting a kiss on his lips. He quickly reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her and deepening it. His vampire senses were on overdrive, he felt everything. She pulled away, breathless.

"Where are you staying?" She asked, faintly whispering it aloud. Damon realized what she was asking immediately and was thankful he had rented a room next door instead of staying the night in his car like he usually did.

"Right next door." He breathed, almost afraid to speak even as loudly as she had whispered. She nodded and took his hand, pulling him out of the bar and into the cold February air that met them.

The short walk from the bar up to his room seemed to take far too long, but once they were there, he found himself shoved against a wall, Elena kissing him hard on the mouth. He groaned, feeling her small frame against him. Pulling her closer, he kissed her passionately, feeling an amount of need in her that he thought only he could possess. She pulled her lips away from his and started to kiss his neck, causing him to moan at the feeling.

"No!" A hushed whisper and she pulled away quickly, turning her face away from him. He looked at her, confused and took her face in his hands.

"Hey…it's okay." She refused to face him. It was as if some thought or memory was haunting her. "Elena…what's the matter?" She turned back to him, an almost pained look on her face. Her eyes locked with his.

"Listen, I want to do something…It might hurt at first, but then it will feel good, I promise." Her voice was smooth and silky and something in her eyes twinkled and Damon found himself nodding curiously. He leaned in and kissed her cheek sweetly.

Taking her hand in his, he felt the smooth rock in her petite ring. She returned to kissing his lips, down his jaw, and to his neck. As she did, he felt an overwhelming amount of pleasure, and the bloodlust he was always fighting resurfaced as he pictured himself assaulting her neck. He felt his face change and his fangs elongate as he thought of her blood. He focused now, listening for the consistent _thu-thump _of her heart. But it never came. He couldn't place her heartbeat at all actually.

His eyes widened suddenly just as he felt teeth scrape his neck. At super human speed, he turned them around, pinning her against the wall and for a moment, they both stared at one another, fangs barred and shock fall all over their faces. He let go of her and stepped back.

"You're a vampire…" He said, surprise still overcoming his features. Elena swallowed hard and nodded.

"So are you…"


	2. Chapter 2

Damon and Elena sat side by side on the edge of the bed in silence, both occupied by their own thoughts. Another vampire. He tried to wrap his head around the idea but oddly, it seemed so rare. He hadn't come across other vampires since his younger brother and even that seemed so long ago now.

"This is actually sort of nice." She was the first to break the silence. He looked over at her in question.

"What is?" He asked curiously, unable to keep the small smile off his face.

"Meeting another vampire. The only over one I knew was the one who changed me." She stated with a shrug, smiling at him. Damon nodded, questions flooding his foggy brain.

"Were you changed by choice?" He asked quietly.

"Not entirely, but I knew the risk and I was pretty sure it was what I wanted." She replied, shifting uncomfortably from her spot. "What about you?"

"Pretty much the same. Died with the blood in my system, but I had planned to change anyway…" He trailed off.

"Why's that?"

"For love." He shrugged and shook his head. "Maybe that's not entirely true. Lust maybe." He decided, admitting it aloud for the first time. She seemed all too understanding.

"I guess when it comes to eternity all the lines get a little blurred." Elena said, looking down at her daylight ring. Damon had a feeling she knew exactly how he felt which only attracted him to her even more.

"So uh, how old are you really?" He asked knowingly, a smirk on his face. She chuckled.

"Nineteen." She replied. He laughed a bit.

"No, no. I mean vampire years my dear. Like, I'm a hundred and seventy-ish. I dunno, I quit celebrating birthdays a few decades back." Damon replied.

"Nineteen." She smiled nervously. "I've only been a vampire for two years." Realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

"That's why you tried to bite me…Wait, were you trying to compel me before?" He asked suddenly. Elena giggled.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes lust and bloodlust blend into one, you know? I obviously wasn't aware you were a vampire…"

"Clearly. You felt badly too, didn't you? For not being able to resist your urges? That isn't an everyday vamp trait." Elena nodded. "Why?"

"I was taught not to take blood from humans when they weren't willing to give it. I usually either drink from blood bags or animals." She shrugged and lied down on the bed.

"Huh…blood bags. Now that's a smart idea." He lied down beside her, crossing one arm behind his head and examining his ring. "You must know a witch if you were able to get one of these nifty little rings as well, huh?"

"Yeah, my friend Bonnie made it for me." She glanced at his ring before gasping and grabbing his hand, pulling it closer to examine it.

"H-have you always had this ring?" She asked nervously, he looked at her, confused.

"As far as I know, yes. It was given to me right after I turned." He looked at it in admiration, knowing that many vampires were slaves to the night while he got to enjoy the sun.

"There aren't any others like it are there?" She asked nervously. Damon shrugged.

"This exact design? I doubt it. The only person who would have one like it would be my baby brother." He looked up at her utterly terrified expression. "What's wrong…?"

"Stefan." It was all she said and all she had to say for him to realize why she was so freaked out. She knew Stefan's ring which meant that she had known him. And seeing as she only knew one other vampire, it was looking like he was the one that changed her. He sat up, feeling a little sick with himself now. Of course Stefan would get the girl he wanted, what else was new? Why should he ever get what he wanted?

"Hey…" She touched his arm softly, sending sparks through his entire body. He closed his eyes and exhaled.

"Why couldn't I have found you first?" He asked slowly, mostly to himself. Elena sighed, she knew the stories from the past.

Mystic Falls 2009

_Stefan and Elena walked through the woods near the beautiful falls as he told her of his past, all he had been through._

"_My brother is God knows where now." He said with a huff._

"_Wait…he's alive still?" Elena asked, wide-eyed. He had made it sound as if his brother was staked._

"_Well if you can call it that. He shut off his humanity years ago. He's a murderer now, Elena." He said disappointedly. Elena noted that they must have been closer at some point in their lives, but now…_

"_Why not help him find it? Remind him what it's like to feel like Lexi did for you whenever you gave up and shut off your humanity?" She couldn't understand why he wasn't trying to help his brother. It didn't make any sense._

"_He doesn't want my help…I've tried." Stefan sighed, draping his arm over her shoulders._

_As they walked on, they didn't speak another word about Stefan's unnamed brother, but Elena just kept thinking about how she needed to meet him. He seemed to be lost and alone in this world…Nobody deserved that._

"He always said you had turned off your humanity, but right now…" She trailed off, not wanting to ruin anything.

"I haven't fucked with my brother in years and once I stopped that, stopped trying to get revenge, I sobered up. I got my humanity back, has he?" He asked. Stefan was always on and off the wagon and he wondered if Elena had known both sides to him. She shook her head.

"You're stronger than him. He picked up and left about a year ago." She spoke sadly and Damon felt a twinge of guilt.

"He'll come back for you. It will be a while but once he's back on the wagon, everything will go back to normal for you." He said simply with a shrug. That was how Stefan's world was. When he fell off the wagon, it was okay because his world would pause until he climbed back aboard. But as he looked over at Elena, she was shaking her head.

"I'm not so sure about that." Damon rolled his eyes, almost annoyed.

"Listen, I've known him forever. I know his patterns and this is a pattern. You changed for this, didn't you? To pause your youth until he returned? This is how it is but it all goes back to normal eventual-"

He was cut off by Elena's lips crashing into his. He remained stiff at first before leaning into it and kissing her passionately, running his tongue across her bottom lip, seeking access. When it was given, he let his tongue explore her mouth, feeling the now blunt tips of the fangs she had flashed at him earlier; the same fangs she had tried to sink into his flesh. He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead on hers.

"What was that for?" He breathed, pleasantly surprised.

"Things can't go back to 'normal' for me and Stefan…" She said quietly, he looked at her in question. "Because I'm falling for his brother."

Damon opened his mouth to protest, to tell her that she would change her mind, but she took the opportunity to kiss him, pressing him against the bed. It became too much for him to resist and gave in, kissing her deeply in reply.

Before he could even realize what was going on, she had flipped them over, giving him control of the situation. He held her hips as he kissed her neck, eliciting a moan from her that caused him to involuntarily buck against her, adding friction between them. He felt her cool hands slip up his shirt, tracing every muscle on his stomach before giving it a tug and yanking it over his head. She took a moment to admire his body before flipping them over so that she was straddling him. Damon reached up to her, his eyes dark with lust as he tugged at the hem of her tank top. At that, Elena pulled her shirt over her head, discarding it to the ground and leaning down to capture his lips with her own.

His hand grazed her breast lightly before taking it in his hand, causing her to gasp with pleasure. He smirked, toying with her nipple and moving his lips in a tantalizing way against hers. Elena's hand snaked down his bare chest, stopping just short of his jeans before swooping down lower to feel his erection through his now tight pants, giving it a small squeeze, earning her a moan. The gesture brought Damon crashing back down to earth.

What was he doing? He and Stefan had played this game with Katherine back in 1864 and now he was about to willingly drag this girl between the two of them as well? She didn't deserve that. He frowned and pulled away reluctantly. She looked down at him in question.

"We can't do this." He said with a groan, brushing her to the side and sitting up. She looked a bit shocked.

"Why? We both feel this…connection." She finished and Damon hated the way it sounded so much as something Katherine would have said.

"I know, but you're my brother's girl and we've already been through this once and she ended up dead because of our mistakes." He looked away from her hypnotizing eyes. "I can't let that happen to you." She nodded, rather understandingly. He brought his eyes back up to hers.

"Can we at least stick together? I mean, I really don't have much place to go except home maybe…" She trailed off and Damon felt for her. Being alone so much was the worst part of being a vampire.

"Sure. We can travel around a bit. I'll show you the perks of being a big bad vampire, and then we can visit…where did you say you were from?" He asked, realizing he had never asked to begin with.

"Mystic Falls, up in Virginia." Damon's jaw dropped. What were the odds of her being born in the town he had grown up in? She could be a descendent of the founders for all he knew.

"Are you part of one of the founding families?" He asked curiously, wondering if their histories really dated that far back.

"Yeah, the Gilberts." Damon's eyes widened.


End file.
